I have woken up this morning looking like I have done 10 rounds with Mike Tyson!My face is swollen and my lower lips so enormous,it looks like I have overdone it on the botox.
Last week my husband and I rushed over to london to seek a second opinion on the next step for me to take re my treatment.We had no problem taking the Eurotunnel ,so Don`t understand all the problems of people unable to get back to blighty because of the volcanic ash problem.
Anyway,Dr.Spittle was very welcoming and tried her best to understand the complexities of my ten -year case in a short time and concluded that i was an exceptonal woman who has been through a lot of suffering and continues to do so,but empathised that longevity of life (me being relatively young at 56) was as an important issue as quality of life to me.However,my disease is incurable,and i should be looking at my options.
She talked about returning to the u.k. to be near my family and getting the excellent Macmillan care that is available here.I interpreted this as she thought I did not have long to live now,without saying it outright. My husband did not see it this way at all,rather than that we had been comparing health-care in France and it failing in the after-care area,that is all. So, even when the language is the same ,one hears different things.I suppose state of emotion plays such an important role in understanding,and by then I was tired ,tearful and struggling to communicate.
Anyway,the upshot of the expensive Harley street doctor was that she was in agreement with the French that i should come off the cortisone ,although slowly as t o avoid any dramatic side-effects,and if i should feel strong enough to try the chemotherapy.She gave the impression that my cancer in the tongue was more concerning than the tumours in the lungs,as it was restricting the whole of my head and neck,causing pain,tension ,suffering and of course debilitating my ability to speak at all,whereas the lungs were showing no symptoms yet.She also thought the lump on my chin was a tumour,but my french ENT doctor insisted it wasn`t.So I think I will have to have a biopsy to settle that one.She maintained it is possible for me to have further radiation,whereas the French doctors insisted I could have no more.
SO,who to believe,what to do,have i benefitted from this meeting or does it just add to the circles i am going round?.
One thing is for sure,I shall cut down on the cortisone asap and set myself the goal of getting to see my son graduate in July but right now it seems one helluva hill to climb yet again
Hey,i am not all doom and gloom-I loved my little ride round London taking in the sights whilst looking for Harley street and i stayed overnight with the greatest of university friends-more of whom i will tell you another time.